One step closer to being a true Ninja

Last night I had my 7th Kyu test for Jujutsu. It wasn't my normal night, but Sensei had said to show up, because he isn't going to be around for our normal class on Thursday.

Keith and I got there (we both tested), and immediately saw our friend David, who ALSO tested for the same level. There were also five other guys who I know and like. So we're talking eight people, which is about typical for a class.

Apparently it was also newbie night, because we had FIVE new people who were there as well. Figures. I'm about to test, and now there are TONS of eyes on me. Oh yay.

But as it turns out, my nerves vanished almost immediately after class began. I sort of took on the whole attitude of, "You've spent five months working on this Kyu. If you know it, it will show tonight. If you don't know it, you'll find out what you need to work on."

When the test actually started I was excited, but not exactly nervous. My kiais were strong, and I really brought out the power and focus. Sensei even said as much when the test was over. Even though the techniques were the same ones I've been working on for the past five months, I put so much energy into them during the test that I was actually sweating and panting at the end of the test.

The end result? A 99 out of 100. That's the highest score you can get in a martial arts test. Otherwise, why are you there if you can do everything perfectly?

Keith scored a 97 and did very well as my uke, and David also turned out a 99. David and I were each going at the same time, so I didn't really get a chance to see how he did.

On to 6th Kyu. Which means LOTS of throws. Poor Keith. I'm one of the shortest people in the dojo, which means it's harder for whoever has to throw me. Mwahahaha. But as Sensei said, if you can't throw them, punch them.

I'm getting a new bokken for my birthday/Christmas from John!! *squee* It's from Kingfisher Woodworks.

Keith thinks I should get the inscription (in Kanji, of course) "kankei", which means strength in spite of smallness.

Keith's looking to get smacked. However, I admittedly did also see that one and like it, even before he mentioned that it made him think of me.

So in normal Traci fashion, I've again neglected to post anything for a couple of months. Ah well.

Alien Loves Predator is seriously some of the funniest shit I've seen since 8-bit Theater. I nearly peed myself last night reading #68. Which is ironic, given what the comic is about that day.

I think John and Keith were concerned because I was laughing so hard that I almost stopped breathing for a minute.

Isn't it ironic?

The title of this entire blog, and I go two full weeks without posting about the 1st Annual Ninja Camp (technically a Shibu Kai). And, alas, I have to go a little bit longer without doing so.

Quick sum up: Bo-shuriken, Kyudo, Ninpo, Rokushaku Bo, Hanbo. Not to mention the requisite woods training. We are, after all, ninja.

And how convenient that my outdoor tabi arrived *after* Ninja Camp. *sigh*

So apparently I have this thing called a life. I didn't used to have one. I used to come home, get on the computer, and be a bum. In the past year and a half I've taken up running, gone back to Jujutsu, etc.

I literally have something going on every single Saturday and Sunday for the next two or three months. Whether it's Ninja Camp, or a 5K race, or a marathon, or a wedding, or the Ren Faire, I'm booked for it.

This came up somewhat recently when Keith asked me if I was busy a few Sundays from now. I immediately and confidently said, "Yes," but when he asked what I'm busy doing (half the activities he's participating in anyway), I got a blank look on my face, akin to deer-in-headlights, and said, "I don't know. But I know I AM busy." And then I immediately started mentally jogging through (no pun intended) all of the races I've registered for.

I think I finally remember what it was a few minutes later, and now I've forgotten again. That's why Google calendar is such a handy tool to have, kids.

In semi-related news that I'm sure I've mentioned before, I'm officially in training for a triathlon. Or many triathlons. We'll see how the first one goes. I have the running part down, and I feel comfortable about the biking part. The swimming part....? Well, I just got my order of new goggles, new swim cap, and new kickboard in, and they've been helping me tremendously.

In totally UNRELATED news, John got me this absolutely gorgeous ring. It has very small diamonds in it, which I like, because big stones drive me nuts and make me fidget and remove rings, subsequently losing or misplacing them. This one is so nicely shaped that I usually forget I'm wearing it. And it's in a size 6.5, as opposed to all my other rings, which are size 8.5 due to what I *used* to weigh. So I adore this one. :) John is awesome.

After the 5K I had on Thursday, I had *another* 5K on Saturday morning. Keith was in rare form, forgetting his bib, his timing chip that I had paid for that he picked up AHEAD OF TIME, and for which I will get charged since he can't find it (GRRRR), so when we actually lined up for the race, we had about 10 seconds to get mentally prepped for it, AND we started behind all of the runners and walkers, and there were about 1,300 people in this particular race.

All that being said, I ran my fastest 5K yet. Thankfully I had my Nike+ kit on, and it tracked me at roughly 10:30-minute miles, which makes me really happy. I'm really looking for a sub 30-minute 5K, and I'm getting pretty close to it!

But honestly, I'm just happy I could run two good 5Ks in three days, in addition to Weapons class, walking around Festa Italiana for a few hours, AND going to Jujutsu on Saturday after the second race.

I took a much-deserved break from exercise yesterday, probably my first day off in a month.

In other (semi) related news, Sensei sent out an email about Ninja Camp. Two days of training in martial arts (Ninpo included), archery, shuriken-throwing, woods training, weapons, etc. That's going to be awesome, and then I can make all of the "This one time at Ninja Camp.." jokes.

Another 5K down...one more to go this week. Yes, I am insane for registering for two 5K races less than 48 hours apart. Not to mention the fact that I have Weapons class tomorrow night, and Jujutsu after the 5K on Saturday.

I'm happy to say that I beat my PR by over two minutes. I came in at 33:40, I believe, which equates to around 11-minute miles. That's a far cry from the 42:18 I did at my first race. Granted, that WAS during a blizzard, but still. Eventually I WILL break that 10-minute mile mark. I can't help it if i have shorter legs than most.

The course was beautiful. It went along Lake Michigan, and then wound around a lagoon before heading back to the Summerfest grounds. I believe the Irish Fest 5K is going to be similar. The 5K on Saturday will be taking place at Miller Park, which should be interesting.

After the 5K, Keith and I wandered around Festa Italiana for a couple of hours, so needless to say, I'm pretty tired. Off to bed I go! :)

I just checked the weather for Friday, which is the next time I have Weapons class. Mercifully it's only going to be in the 70's. I've learned a new equation:

Hot bodies + hot dojo + weapons practice + Traci in a heavy weapons gi top, shirt, pants, hakama, hachimaki, and tabi = BAD

Between work, which has been driving me nuts, and everything else life is throwing at me, I think I'm losing my mind.

I hear about these TV shows that I should see. Bwahahaha...when?? Let's see, I wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go to the gym or the dojo, help my father with his homework or go to a wedding or something else that sort of mandates my presence, etc.

I've had absolutely no time to just sit and chill and do nothing. I used to be jealous of the people who said things like, "There just aren't enough hours in the day," and now I'm one of them.

Yeah, I could quit my job, stop exercising, stop going to martial arts....but I've committed to each of them, and while I am still very committed, I just want a freaking break. Just one day to myself where I don't do anything but play video games.

Now that I've vented, time to go back to planning my triathlon training. Yes, I realize that I'm doing this to myself, and therefore shouldn't bitch about it, but ah well.

I got to see John almost every day this past week, from Tuesday night on. That was very refreshing, as normally I only get to see him on the weekends. Much-needed reconnectiong happened, at least on my end.

Yesterday Keith and I went to the Ren Faire. I had to get an entire new outfit. The old chemise, skirt, and bodice were so big on me that they pretty much fell off when I put them on. My credit cards are screaming at me, but I have gorgeous new garb and a lovely ear wrap.

In other totally unrelated news, I ate way too much over the past week. Between the wedding, stress and fatigue, and the Faire, I just let go. I did have a few good days, but overall the week was a wash. I'm starting all over again today. I have 26 pounds left to go to get to goal.

I'm also starting my training for the sprint triathlon today. It's going to be really difficult to work in a swimming/biking/running/weights regimen in addition to the martial arts and weapons classes, but I think I'll be able to do it.

Weapons class was interesting. At one point Sensei (who I've considered a friend ever since we worked at Barnes & Noble together nine years ago) was talking about holding and using a hanbo (3' staff) correctly so that you don't slam it up into another guy's crotch. Sensei was saying how you want to control the hanbo, "so you don't lose your stick."

Ok, sick-minded individual that I am, I figure it's a pun on his part. Slamming some guy in the groin = him losing his stick? Anyway, I start giggling, and I'm THE ONLY ONE doing so. Sensei said, "I don't mean THAT way."

How ironic is it that, among a group of all guys and being the only girl, I'M the one who gets the inadvertent penis pun?

Now, the semi-bad part is that it took me several minutes to stop giggling, but Sensei was kind enough not to tell me to shut up already.

Side note: I pulled a Hermione Granger at the end of class. Sensei was pointing to various parts of the sword and asking people for the names (in Japanese). I, um, knew all of them. We're talking something like 20+ different parts. And I was the only one who knew all of them. A few others knew a couple. But yeah, I felt like a show-off.

But the parts I knew included: Mono Uchi, Hamon, Ha, Hi, Mune, Mekugi, Menuki, Shinogi, Seppa, Habaki, Fuchi, Ito, Same, Sageo, Saya, Kashira, Kojiri, Kuri-Kata, Koiguchi, Yokote, Kissaki, Yakiba, Ji, Tsuka, Tsuba, etc.

The past two days were fun, but very hectic. John's sister Angie got married on July 4th. I was sort of the self-appointed backup photographer, and shockingly enough the pictures turned out really well.

It was also a LOT of running around, not getting much sleep, etc. And I stuffed my face pretty bad. Not as bad as I once would have, but let's just say that my body hates me right now. As of today I'm officially detoxing by not touching anything with sugar in it.

I looked really good for the wedding, and was very happy to wear a size 8 dress.

John and I were together from 2pm on Wednesday until 9pm last night, and I have to say that being apart from him today has been sort of rough. I hardly ever get to spend that much alone time with him, so it was VERY welcome. And now I miss him.

He was so sweet to me, and looked absolutely incredibly handsome in his suit at the wedding. I even managed to get a couple pictures of him smiling, which is awesome.

Yesterday morning we went swimming at the hotel before heading off to the wedding site to help his mom take back the wedding decorations. Rather, HE swam and I sort of shivered a lot in the pool and had him just sort of hold on to me to keep me warm. Real auspicious start to my triathlon training, there.

Oh yeah, I'm officially declaring that I'm going to start training for a triathlon! I have the running part down, can probably do the biking part, but the swimming part is sort of non-existent at this point for me. I did order a swim cap and goggles though, and my training will begin next week. I have almost a year to get ready, which should be sufficient.

Three things of note today:

1) I donated blood for the fourth time this morning.

2) I can now name 22 different parts of a Japanese sword/scabbard (mune, ha, hi, shinogi, same, sageo, tsuka, tsuba, etc.)

3) I now fit into a size 8. That was a definite "Shut UP!!" moment.

I just got home from the Superun (25th anniversary!), benefitting Special Olympics. It was a very difficult run, due to the heat and the humidity. Actually, I was doing pretty well up until just a little past Ravine Drive. I made it up the hill (a lot of people only walked it), but I had an asthma attack about a minute after hitting the top. Even WITH the hill, even with the heat, humidity, and the fact that I haven't really run in almost two weeks because of my ankle, I still came in at 37 minutes, which isn't bad for me at all.

I'll do a lot better at my next two 5Ks, which are about a day and a half from each other in the third week of July.

Today also marks one and a half years, exactly, on Weight Watchers. What a way to celebrate, hey? Running 3.1 miles in about 70% humidity.

Saturday was the first time I've been under 150 pounds since I was 16 years old, so I've been hitting all sorts of milestones and special occasions lately.

Officially I'm down 116.2 pounds, with 16.8 ^@&!ing pounds to go. They aren't kidding when they say the last 20 are a bitch to lose.

So, naturally, since I have less than a week until my next 5K race, my ankle that I've sprained numerous times decides to start acting up.

Right now it doesn't hurt a lot, but if I run on it, I know it will. Hmm. Debating whether or not to just rest it and rely on my conditioning for the race, or chance pushing it, possibly injure it further, in an attempt to make sure that I'm cardiovascularly at my peak.

In other news, Happy Summer Solstice. :)

Direct Ninja Training

I often talk about how "everything is Ninja training." Well, tonight in Jujutsu, everything WAS Ninja training. Good class.

In related news...I passed 8th Kyu! So did Keith! Tay for us. :) Sensei gave us some much-appreciated critiques, and told me a couple of things I wish I had known before.

We begin 7th Kyu on Saturday (hopefully). A week from tomorrow is our next 5K.

My Star Wars group is going pretty well

My boyfriend, bless his heart, is the biggest Star Wars fan I know, and has been running Star Wars (d6) for years now, but no one has ever really run a campaign for him to actually play in. Not until a few weeks ago, when I took it upon myself to do just that.

So far the players seem to like it. I have them as Apprentices getting ready for their trials, and my NPC, their Jedi Master, is a Togrutan female. Yeah, ok, so I like Shaak Ti. Can't help it.

<---total geek

Definitely Ninja training

I can't wait for Weapons class tonight. Sensei can give me as many sword cuts to do as he wants. A thousand sword cuts? You got it. I have some extra energy I really need to burn off, and, bad as I am at Weapons in general, I'm looking forward to making my Daijodan no kamae as good as possible. My ichimonji is a lot better (and sometimes I actually hit it when I should be going into a Jujutsu stance), and I'm learning more of the parts of the sword. Samurai swords have a LOT of parts and names, all in Japanese, of course. It's not as simple as "hilt, pommel, crossguard, blade, etc."

I get blanket invitations to seminars at my company. I've never been to one, but I'm *positive* that they come up with the names for the seminars by letting a cat run across the keyboard:

Epoxyeicosatrienoic Acids: Mediators of Endothelium-Dependent Dilation in Coronary Arteries

I am officially registered for my next five 5K races, which will take me through September. I only have three more races to register for, and then all eight to actually run.

I should have ten 5K shirts for this year alone by the time I'm done. Maybe I should make a quilt out of them...

Keith and I did another run along the lakefront last night. We parked, ran to Ravine Drive, ran UP Ravine Drive, ran around the block a bit, and then ran back down Ravine Drive and back to the car.

It felt really good. Each time I run this course I feel more and more confident about the next 5K coming up.

There were a couple of fit-looking guys who started running up Ravine Drive before us. They stopped at the top for a couple of minutes to catch their breath, and then ran back down right away. Keith and I kept running. I know it sounds competitive and petty, but it made me feel good to know that we didn't stop at the top of that hill.

Six Flags is permanently in my past

I love roller coasters. I really do. I love the thrill of them, the speed, all of it. But the past few years, whenever I went to Six Flags, I found my enthusiasm waning. Between the crowds and lines, and the fact that the rides themselves are so brief, it's almost not worth it to me. But I continued to go, until the past two years or so, when I discovered another problem: claustrophobia.

For the first year I assumed that the claustrophobia was due to me being extremely heavy and always feeling like I couldn't breathe anyway. I knew I had anxiety problems, but they never extended quite this far before.

But then little things would start to happen. I would be strapped into a ride, and I would start to panic. Or I'd be sitting in the passenger seat while someone else was driving, and would start to feel like I couldn't breathe, and would be tempted to jump out of the car. Heck, even DRIVING occasionally makes me panic, especially on the freeway, and especially because I have my seatbelt on.

But then yesterday it reached a new level. I was sitting in one of those dinky little carnival rides, similar to the Octopus but without leaving the ground, and although there was room between me and the bar restraint, I started to feel panicky. It wasn't the ride itself. It was feeling trapped in something. I started to panic really badly, and tried to call the ride operator over to let me out, but in turning sideways to do so, I realized that I'm now thin enough to actually get out of the ride without the restraint opening. So yay for being semi-thin, but ugh.

I made myself calm down, and Keith did his best to help, and once the ride started I was fine.

But that made me realize that the shoulder restraints at Six Flags will SERIOUSLY freak me out now. Just thinking about them makes me feel uncomfortable.

And then this morning I read about those people who were suspended upside down for half an hour high up in the air on a roller coaster in Alabama.

Six Flags? Yeah, I think I'll pass. This is why God made waterparks.

Not punching a coworker...definitely Ninja training. As far as showing a certain amount of reserve.

I sit next to a coworker who is incredibly rude to me. I tolerate her, because frankly I feel sorry for her and some aspects of her life.

At any rate, another coworker came by and was talking to her, and they were going on and on about their colds, and how one felt like she was going to throw up, etc. I mean, just general babble that's really disruptive to other people. I ignored them for the first 15 minutes.

But then the person who was talking to my "neighbor" started saying how she needs to see a doctor, but won't see an Indian doctor ever again because she had a bad experience with one in the past.

Ok, I too have had doctors who were rude. But to generalize them based on race? Sorry, but I don't tolerate prejudice while at work. I loudly cleared my throat (a precursor to me standing up and letting loose), and the coworker must have gotten the hint, because she suddenly said she had to get back to work.

Despite the massive storm warnings, humidity, and wind gusts, Keith and I ran along the lake last night. We decided to try the hill on Ravine Drive. Now, I've read things about past Superuns (the 5K were doing in a few weeks), and people actually WARN about this hill. I've driven along it, and it does seem steep, so I felt a little apprehensive. It's winding and about 1/4 mile long.

As it turns out, it wasn't bad at all. In fact, we nailed it. At the top Keith said he felt like he wanted to die. Me, being the good friend I am, made him keep going. I wasn't going to let him walk. For one thing, I knew we were physically capable of continuing to run even after getting to the top, and in fact we will have to do just that come race day. The second part was mental. I wasn't going to let the feeling of HAVING to walk demoralize either of us. So we kept running, and did great. I feel a lot better about the Superun.

On a more negative note, I'm currently up four pounds from last week, despite being stellar for the past six days. I *know* it's just the weather and my body acting wonky (now that I think about it, I used that word even before hearing Sensei say it), but it's still a bit discouraging, because I was SO hoping on breaking below 150 pounds this week. Ah well. It'll hopefully happen next week.

Not much to say

The weather here has been, to quote Sensei and his wife, "wonky" lately. Very humid, and fluctuating between the 50's and the 90's. What's up with that?

At any rate, I'm doing pretty well right now. I just picked up a beautiful book called "The Japanese Kitchen" and the recipes look awesome. I just wish we had more Japanese grocers in Milwaukee.

Slightly tangential from that, Sensei hinted that I might be testing for 8th Kyu on Saturday. Better make sure to practice with Keith even more!

I'm now signed up for four 5K races in the next three months. This last one, the Run/Walk to IrishFest, includes a fundraiser. It's to support the Arthritis Foundation. I think the only person who reads this blog besides myself is my boyfriend, and he already donated, but if anyone would like to sponsor me, I would think you were one of the coolest people ever. However, good wishes for my run would be happily accepted, too. :)

But just in case, the link to my donation page is here: http://runwalktoirishfest.kintera.org/tlgondek

Last night I got a massage from someone who is not only a licensed massage therapist, but is also my Sensei for my Weapons class, and also a former coworker at TWO different jobs. I thought it was going to be a little awkward, because I'm mostly naked and thus feel vulnerable, but knowing him made it a lot easier.

I expected to be totally quiet and shut away, mentally, the entire time, but instead we chattered away about muscles, class, etc. It was cool. And he did a PHENOMENAL job. There were muscles that I hadn't realized were tight until I left his office and realized how much different I felt. He does a great job. AND he gave me a lead on someone who does acupuncture. I'm going to give her a call soon.

But I digress. During the massage, I mentioned that sometimes I feel bad in Weapons class because I always feel like I'm messing up, doing badly, etc. I'm one of only two girls in class, and definitely am the shortest.

Dan said that I'm not doing as badly as I think, and that it actually looks kinda cool, because I'm so short, and so my bokto looks more like a Claymore. That made me laugh.

Fear the 5'1" girl with the wooden sword! Mwahahaha. Oh, I also have several other "tools", but that's the one we've used the most so far.

In other news, I lost two pounds last week. I'm only 10 pounds from goal. Sweeeeet!

Weighty Issues

Yeah, bad pun in the title. So here's the deal: Back in high school I was 160 pounds as a freshman, 135-150 pounds as a sophomore, and closing in on 200 pounds in my junior and senior years. When I was 155-ish pounds or below, I looked fantastic.

I'm currently at 152 pounds, and I have probably five pounds of loose skin on me. But even though I'm technically the same weight I was when I was in high school, I feel like I look a lot worse. My calves are bigger (ok, I shouldn't feel bad about that, because they're incredibly muscular now from all the running and whatnot), my stomach is bigger (a good amount of that is loose skin), etc. Actually, except for those two areas I feel pretty good. And even my calves I feel good about. I just wish they were a TINY bit smaller.

My original Weight Watchers goal weight was 145 pounds. As I dropped pounds, I decided to lower my goal to 133 pounds. At 133 pounds I wouldn't be overweight anymore (I'm only 5'1"), plus it would mean that I've lost exactly half my weight.

But my body isn't cooperating. For a few months now I've been bouncing around the 150's, which I hadn't seen since I was 16. I just CANNOT get below 152.

At what point do I say, "Ok, I'm really healthy, my weight is pretty decent, and I've lost over 100 pounds, so I should go into maintenance"?

I know that a tummy tuck might change things completely. It might make me realize that my weight, as is, is fine. And it would also probably remove a few pounds.

I don't know. I won't starve or do anything drastic to get below 150 pounds, but I'm feeling sort of discouraged lately.

What to wear to the Ren Faire?

It occurred to me last night that the Ren Faire opens in a month and a half. And I've undergrown my bodice, chemise, skirt, etc. Crap.

So I need to figure out 1) what to go as, 2) what to wear, and 3) how to acquire new garb. My skills with a sewing machine aren't quite laughable, but it'd be more productive of me to just work and give money to someone else who has much skill at creating things. Not to mention that the power supply/foot cord to my sewing machine is missing, so it's a moot point anyway.

Pirates 3 naturally makes me want to do the pirate thing. But a lot of people are still doing the pirate thing. Although I *did* like Elizabeth Swann's wardrobe in Pirates 3. Very drool-worthy. But I think I've narrowed it down to a kunoichi or a samurai, sans armor. Now, if I went with the latter, I'd almost already have the outfit. I have a heavy weapons top, hakama, a black obi, bokto, hanbo, jo, etc. However, I have those things because I use them in Weapons class, and I know Sensei would have my hide if I wore my black obi or my hakama outside of class.

But that doesn't mean I can't buy ANOTHER hakama just for use for the Ren Faire.

The kunoichi is a different matter completely. I think I could easily do that one, but no one would know what the heck I am. Well, most people wouldn't. And while it fits in with the period, it's not Elizabethan.

So I'm still thinking about this one.

Long, rambling post

Much fun was had this weekend. So much, in fact, that I almost didn't mind coming in to work today.

On Saturday, Keith and I went to the Domes and de-stressed among the flora. From there we headed to Jujutsu. I got to be the Sempai! There were only two other people in class, but hey...

I did a pretty good job. We got lightly scolded by Sensei for not having our KJJR patches on our gi tops yet, and told that we better have them on by the next time he sees us, which is tonight. "Hai, Sensei." Needless to say, today I have with me my gi top, my patch, some black thread (couldn't find it at first, until I checked my sewing machine...duh), and a couple of needles. Because that patch looks pretty thick.

That night we went to see Pirates, which was fun. On Sunday, John and I spent the night at the hotel, which conveniently has a waterpark attached to it, so John, Keith and I spent a few hours there yesterday. Hauling a tube up several flights of stairs multiple times can INDEED be considered ninja training, as can pulling John and Keith under the waterfall whilst going through the lazy river, despite their almost laughable attempts to avoid it.

When we got done with that, we grilled out. Now, I have NEVER grilled out before. I've eaten food that others have grilled, but I've never actually been the one to cook the food. And I have to say, I think I've found my niche. My mom calls me the queen of nuke (microwave reference), but I made corn on the cob last night that was PERFECT. I also made veggie burgers, soy dogs, portabella mushrooms, onions, and biscuits, all of which came out yummy. I need to use the grill more often.

And then I started a new Star Wars campaign. I've DMd plenty of times before, but never for the d6 Star Wars RPG. But John was practically begging to actually play in one rather than just run it, so I got them started on their characters, and ran a mini-session last night that they liked. After John left, Keith and I took a long walk, went through our current Jujutsu level (testing is going to be any day now, I hope), and just chatted about random things.

All in all, a very busy but fun Memorial Day weekend.

I forgot to mention that John, George, Keith and I (we sound like the Beatles - I call Paul, which means Keith has to be Ringo) saw Pirates 3 last night at the new Marcus Majestic. Very nice theater, and our seats were awesome. Very comfortable chairs.

The movie was great. A bit long and convoluted, and at times a *touch* confusing, but very enjoyable. I definitely liked it better than the second one, which I also find entertaining.

Keira Knightly...*sigh*

I like her as an actress. Or I used to. But between Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, the "I'm trying to come across as a tough pirate-like chick, so I'm going to shriek a lot" thing was getting tiring. Much like a few other actresses, Keira Knightly just doesn't have the charisma or intimidation to pull off her role. Which is too bad, because she's a very lovely girl, and I like her a lot in other movies.

Orlando Bloom. The man just keeps getting hotter and hotter.

On Friday I got to work about 20 or so minutes early, due to no traffic because of the long Memorial Day weekend. AND I found a close parking spot in the garage. So I got out, walked the few feet toward the doors, and saw a barely fledging-aged baby bird huddled near the tire of another car, shivering really badly.

So naturally, because the baby didn't look to be doing so well, I scooped him up, put him in a towel in my car, cranked the heat up, and took him to the Humane Society. Once there, I saw them put the baby in an incubator, filled out a donation card (because I can't just take animals there and not make a donation, even though they already get money from me monthly), and headed *back* to work.

Lost the parking space, which figured, but isn't a big deal, and ended up 10 minutes late, which again isn't a big deal as I'm salaried, and pretty much make my own hours. But it does figure. Ah well. At least I know that the baby bird is doing a lot better.

Friday night was fun. Weapons class was intense, as it has been for the past several weeks. Even though the bokto still feels heavy sometime, I do definitely think I'm getting stronger, and I can see marked improvement in my pecs and arms. The definition is coming along.

Today John and I are going to a really nice hotel for the night, and tomorrow we'll be playing at the waterpark, which is conveniently attached to the hotel.

In other news, I switched back to the Flex plan on Weight Watchers. I had been doing the Core plan for about eight weeks, and although I did enjoy it, toward the end I started to feel too restricted. It doesn't help that I don't like to cook. Now that I'm back on Flex, I feel more control over myself again, which is a great relief.

Maybe binging IS Ninja training

Ok, so maybe binging itself isn't ninja training, but getting back on track certainly is. Even though it's hard to get past the mentality of "I already messed up, so why bother trying to fix it now?" I've always managed to get back on track the very next day after having a binge.

That mentality, however, is the reason so many people continue to put off making healthy lifestyle changes. They mess up one day, and feel like their week is blown. They always say they're going to start Monday, but that magical, life-changing day never comes. Each moment is an opportunity in which to make amends, to make things right.

On a totally unrelated note, my darling boyfriend John donated blood for the first time on Tuesday, which was our 3-year anniversary. I'm very proud of him. Even though I didn't benefit directly from it, I still see it as a beautiful gift to commemorate our anniversary.

One more tangent: Keith and I are now signed up for TWO more 5Ks. This running stuff is getting addictive. Between it and Jujutsu, I can't see myself ever getting out of shape again.

Binging - not so much with the Ninja training

Annoyed at Google for NOT saving my draft, and then timing out after I sent my last post. Grrr.

Anyway, in the just four days short of 17 months that I've been on Weight Watchers, I've only binged four days. Unfortunately, all four of those days have occurred in 2007, and worse yet, two of them were just this past week.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. You'd think that after losing 114 pounds this would get *easier* rather than hard. Sensei and I talked, and he suggested that I start journaling, and also that I go back to the roots.

I do know that it's hard to keep going when your coworkers, who have seen you at your high weight of 266 pounds, keep calling you "skinny." I know. I'm not skinny. Not at 5'1" and 152 pounds. But comparatively speaking, I am a LOT smaller. With all the exercising I do, I'm also pretty muscular.

But it doesn't change the fact that I still have 20 pounds to go. And these last 20 pounds are absolutely killer. I never used to feel sorry for women who "only" had 10 pounds to lose. In fact, I'd roll my eyes about it, because when I was 130+ pounds overweight, 10 pounds seemed like nothing. But now those last few pounds have become a bigger beast than the 100+ pounds that came before them.

I've never been this small before in my entire adult life. Maybe my body doesn't remember life below 150 pounds. But my head does. And my head is being screwed over every time I have a great week, staying on plan, exercising EVERY DAY, and gain a pound. Which is what happened last week. What the heck is up with that???

I think that's the real source of my frustration. Despite all my hard work, I tend to have a pattern now of losing a pound, gaining a pound, and then losing half a pound. Rinse, repeat.

My motivation is almost nil right now. And it's so easy to say, "You're almost at goal. Taking a day off plan won't hurt you."

No, it probably wouldn't. Not if it were only one day. But this is twice this *week* so far. I have got to get it back together. I have to find that disconnect. Because I refuse to go back to the weight I used to be. I love how fit I am now, and I want to become even more so.

But I'm really struggling right now, and I'm not exactly sure why.

Jujutsu and Running: A winning combination

My two loves as far as physical activity is concerned are Jujutsu and running. I do both to some extent at least two or three times a week.

Last night I received my certificate from Sensei for passing 9th Kyu. I immediately photocopied it, stuck the photocopy in my binder with the copies of my race reports and running bibs, and put the original in a frame. I intend to do this with every certificate I own. And then my binder will be a source of inspiration for me. A way to remember my physical accomplishments. When you come from a point where you were morbidly obese and could hardly walk, this is a big deal.

I also sent out Keith and my registration for the next 5K in June. I hope to come in at 35 minutes or less, but even if I don't, I intend to run the entire race, which has been my goal for every 2M or 5K run I've done.

Keith and I have settled into a ritual for our races. We pretty much end up running late but manage to get there in plenty of time anyway, find parking not terribly close to the place where we pick up our packets, and then Keith takes our packets (usually a t-shirt and goodie bag) back to the truck while I meander around, checking the other runners out.

Then we head to the starting line, where the other racers are congregating. I've already learned that bringing my iPod along is pointless because 1) headphones aren't generally allowed at sanctioned races, and 2) it has become a time for Keith and I to bond.

Then I typically see all these super fit (and some who aren't so fit) people, and ask Keith, "Why did I sign us up for this?" This is sort of a private joke between us, because normally I'm the motivator, the one who's all gung-ho and telling Keith, WEEKS before the 5K, how much fun it's going to be.

Keith's response is usually, "I don't know." Yes, come race day, he is just *full* of inspiration.

So then I start asking Keith if I'm bigger or smaller than some other women I spot in the crowd. Because I tend to be insecure, and still don't have an accurate mental picture of what I look like, given how quickly I've lost a lot of weight.

When it's getting close to the time the gun is going to go off, Keith and I wander to the back of the pack, because we know we'll probably be staying there for the duration of the race. When the gun goes off, it's exciting and kind of boring all at the same time. There's that surge of adrenaline, but it's tempered by the fact that there are about 300 people in front of you, so it takes several seconds to get to the point where you're actually moving or running.

But then we're off, and most people end up waaaaay ahead of us. To our credit, we normally pass a good amount of people as well, especially later in the race. If there is one thing I'm phenomenal at in running, it's setting a pace that I can maintain for the entire race. In fact, it's almost eerie how every one of my miles is almost the same, down to the second. And I make sure to keep Keith on pace with me.

So Keith and I jog along, sometimes talking, sometimes just breathing. There are always a few points at which we both want to stop and walk, but we never do. Our goal is to run the entire race, even if we are dead last (which we've never even been close to). Along the way Keith will offer to sing jodies, which are basically those military cadences you hear soldiers sometime chant or sing as they run or march.

Keith knows several from ROTC, but there is one I like the best. It goes like this:

C-130 running down the strip
Airborne ranger on a one way trip
Mission top secret, destination unknown
Don't even know if I'm going home
Stand-up, hook-up, shuffle to the door
Jump right out and count to four
If my main don't open wide
I got a reserve by my side
If that one should fail me too
Look out below I'm comin' through
If I die on the old drop zone
Then box me up and send me home
Pin my jump wings on my chest
Tell my mama I done my best

Now, the first time Keith sang this to me, many years ago, I totally misheard the lyrics and thought one of the lines was, "Look out below, I'm coming for you." Maybe it's because I tend to be an aggressive person. Or maybe I just hear what I want to hear.

So now Keith, during our 5Ks, always adapts the jodie to use that line. And even though we're DYING, panting and wanting to keel over from exhaustion, we both look at each other and smile, because for some reason to us, it's funny. We have some bonds that no one else in the world can even possibly get or understand.

Keith and I also tend to keep each other going. When one of us says we want to slow to a walk, the other pushes to keep going. However, we BOTH usually bitch about Mile 2, and how long it takes to get there. Because the first mile is easy, the last mile isn't bad, but that middle mile feels forever.

And then, when we finally get past that Mile 3 marker, we sprint to the finish. Regardless of our time, as soon as we pass that Finish line, we high-five each other. In fact, we do it several times, because 1) we're so happy it's over, and 2) we usually beat our previous time with every subsequent race we do.

If something ever happens to Keith, I don't know if I could keep running. It just wouldn't be the same without him.

Happy Anniversary

We've had our ups and downs, some pretty knock-down-drag-out fights, and some really awesome times. Thank you for the past three years, my love.

Ugh. After feeling so good on Saturday (still on that runner's high), I went and stuffed my face yesterday. WAY too much sugar that my body is not used to anymore. First there was a bridal shower for my boyfriend's sister, and then one of my best friends graduated from college. So I went from party to party.

Needless to say, it's almost noon and I still haven't eaten yet, because I'm still so full and sick from yesterday's carb overload. Sleep last night didn't come easily, despite taking enough medication to put an elephant out. I pretty much laid in bed, my muscles twitching, actually feeling the chemicals from the food running through me. Not a pleasant feeling when you normally eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fat free dairy.

My body hates me today, and I can't say I blame it.

Awesome 5K

So it's more or less known that I'm short (5'1"), which means that I have short legs as well. Not exactly built like your typical gazelle-looking runner. For me, running 14-minute miles is pretty much par for the course.

Well, actually, I've been speeding up recently as I've lost weight. But I was still running at least 13:30 miles. Sure, I can run three miles, but they aren't fast OR pretty.

So it was pretty nice to run that 5K today in just under 36 minutes, or 11:42-minute miles, to be exact. I'm really proud of myself, and of Keith, who ran the same pace. It was our fastest 5K yet (granted, only our third race), and I'm looking to beat that in a month when we have our next 5K.

The guy at the the Mile 1 marker had a really nice smile, and was kind enough to say, "It's downhill from here!" I was surprised to learn that, while it wasn't downhill, there weren't any more UPhills, either. In fact, it was a rather pleasant course along the park that wound through the woods, across a bridge and over a wide stream in two different places.

The whole event just felt different, actually. Everyone, from the organizers to the mile marker people to the crowd gathered along the sidelines, was super supportive. We got a lot of cheers, a lot of "Just a bit further, you're doing great!" and a lot of applause. Several kids lined up along the side of the street in the beginning with their hands outstretched. It was so cute. Well, up until they yelled, "Here are the last of them!"

To be fair, we were NOT last. We started out slow, but passed many people up. I personally beat 51 people (including Keith), although that isn't the point of running a 5K. For me, it's about beating my personal best, about facing the fear and the pain and the doubt, and pushing past it.

The guy who took our timing chips at the end was very nice, shook our hands, and told us we did a great job. Seeing that Mile 3 marker come up sooner than I had anticipated was great, so we sprinted the last .1 to the Finish line.

We also got to help out a great charitable organization, got a nifty backpack and t-shirt, and refreshments at the end, which were immediately downed. Water is really nice when you've just finished running 3.1 miles on an 80 degree day.

Weapons class last night was challenging. We got into some advanced things that we're not exactly ready for, but they were fun to learn. I'm surprised I'm not sore today, though. Lots of bokto work.

Today Keith and I have a 5K race. If past 5Ks are any indication, I might not be last, but I'll be in the bottom 10%. However, most people can't even run 5K (3.1 miles), so I'm not exactly feeling sorry for myself.

I'm thankful that it's so beautiful outside today. Our last 5K happened to be during a blizzard. I still remember Keith remarking sometime around Mile 2 that he didn't know if he had another mile in him. I also recall telling him (with several people in earshot) that I would kill him if he stopped running.

Everything IS Ninja Training

I've learned that everything I do is training to be a ninja. When the new dojo was being put together, we hardworking students carried numerous 10' boards across the ice (it was February in Wisconsin, after all), making sure not to collide with any other plank-wielding person.

"Ninja training," Sensei said as he handed me my boards.

After that, *everything* became ninja training. Painting the walls of the new dojo was ninja training. I remember asking Keith, who was my painting partner in crime, if he thought this was some sort of Karate Kid-like training thing, where we were being taught how to do something through the clever use of a mundane task. Keith probably thought the paint fumes got to me. And no, alas, we were just painting the walls. But I *did* learn that I'm damn good at edging. In fact, I was referred to as an "Edging Master." Take from that what you will.

So now everything is ninja training, and I make the joke every chance I get. Dodging bunnies that are repeatedly circling my feet as I try to walk? Ninja training. Showing someone how to use Indexes in Access? Ninja training. Jujutsu....well, that's *obviously* ninja training.

I think those few paragraphs sum me up pretty well. I'm an oddball. I make noises with my mouth just to amuse myself (or annoy others). I roleplay. I take martial arts. I type so fast that jokes are made about me melting my keyboards. I've also graduated from college cum laude despite having three F's on my transcript. And as of last week I've lost 114 pounds through eating healthy and exercising. So yeah, all in all, a pretty normal girl. ;)